Even More Odd Signs

" Do not stand on unless fully set up."- warning label on a ladder
"Caution:Watch out for small furry creatures." -sign on the side of the road on the way to the zoo parking lot
"No hunting. No weapons of any kind allowed. No knives,No swords,No pistols,rifles, or other guns allowed. No other weapons of any sort inside the zoo. No large coolers, or glass bottles allowed inside the zoo during all times. No unattended pets allowed. No unaccompanied children."-sign at the zoo
"No parking on the sidewalk, grass,road, or anywhere else outside the zoo parking lot at anytime."-sign at the zoo
"Cars parked here after hours will be locked in until next business day."-sign at Lake Higgins
"No parking anytime."-sign, next to spot marked Fire Lane outside the mall
"No unaccompanied children. Unaccompanied children will be sold."-sign inside Ross,a clothing store in the USA (It is against the law to own slaves, or sell people as slaves in the USA, so the second part of the sign makes no sense at all.)
"Advice, $2.00,Extra Advice, $3.00,Bad Advice, Free,Good Advice $5.00"-sign inside a orthodontist office that closed down due to bankruptcy and an dishonest orthodontist
"How's My Driving? "-on the back of a tractortrailor
" No spiting in the sink. No writing on the walls, stalls, floor, door, or ceiling anytime. Make sure to use soap and warm water when you wash your hands. Wash your hands before work,after each visit to the toilet,and before you leave work." -sign in a public bathroom at a store
"Recycle Greensboro."- on a Trash truck (is a good reminder ,but is in an odd spot)
"No cussing. No swear language. No other bad language what so ever."-sign outside a convenience store (says the same thing three different ways)
"No throwing trash into the pond. No feeding the ducks. No swimming. No drowning. No fishing. "-sign in the pond at the park
"No smoking."-sign outside the playground equipment at the park
"Please pick up trash. Do not litter. Those caught littering will pay a fine of $1,000."-sign on a trash can at the park
"Born a Redneck. Raised a Country Gal. Grew up a Country Bumkin. Now I am a City Girl."-bumper sticker on the back of a pick up truck
"Rules...Do... Give your seat to senior citizens,pregnanat women,and those carrying fire arms."-sign in a resturant
" Rules Do not...Rule number 6 Blame your parents for your mistakes. It is your own fault. You might as well admit to it now. Your parents are great,you are the one with a problem."-sign inside a resturant
"Think outside the bun."-phrase on the Taco Bell sign
"No Right Turns. No Left Turns."-on a one way street
"Here Lives a Grumpy Old Bear with His Sweet Wife."-sign near a tree in someone's front yard
"It is Unconstitutional to do that. It is Unconstitutional to tell me that I can not have the Ten Commandments on a wall in a public place, on a public bus, or on the door to my home. It is Constituional to tell me not to inferer with others beliefs as long as they do not infere with my rights to life, liberty,and the pursuite of hapiness."-sign outside a bathroom at a car dealership
"Wipe your feet before you enter. Rinse off too. Do not spread germs. Do not use if you have a cold. No glass bottles, No acohol,No knives, No guns, and no other weapons allowed. No life guard on duty. Enter at your own risk.''-sign at a public swimming pool
"Do not let children play inside dryer. It is a risk to their health. Keep eye on children when in use."-sign on the inside of the door to a dryer
"Women Only. No Men Allowed. No Pets,unless for assisting the blind, or others with a handicap." -sign outside a Women's Changing Area in a store
"Shoes,and Shirt Required. No shoes. No Shirt. No service. It's the law."-sign outside Food Lion,a grocery store
"No graffiti. No stickers. No outside signs. No trasspassing after hours."-sign outside a store that says it makes signs for any purpose
" Reserved Parking for the Boss. Do not Park here,unless 1. The Boss is out sick, 2. The Boss is on vacation,3. You are The Boss,4. You want to get fired, 5. You have No Other Place to Park, 6. The Boss Died, 7. You have Been Promoted to Office of the Boss,8.The Boss is Out to Lunch, 9. You are Running Late,or 10.The Boss Gave you Special Permission to Park Here. Attention:All Others . No parking here any time. No Excuses. "-sign in the parking outside a business office, obviously reserved for the boss, but the sign is a bit repeative, don't you think?
"Most Valued Employee of the Month."-Sign in the parking lot where my husband works, yet no one ever parks here. (what is the purpose of this sign?)
"No parking here anytime. Reserved Parking for the Pastor."-sign in a church parking lot (this does not sound very welcoming to visitors,plus why does the pastor need to reserve himself a parking spot."
" Sue lied. No she's dead. She died from eating to much. She was the size of a pig. Poor Sue."-sign on a gravestone, in a graveyard (talking about disrespect for the dead)
" Here Lies Fred. Died from a Boulder landing on his head. "-sign on another gravestone
" Little Mel. She followed her friend to the end. She fell in a well, and that is all there is to tell."- sign on a gravestone
"What is Hell Like? Come Here the Choir Sing on Sunday. "-actual misprint in a church bulletin , not noticed till people already got the bulletin and laughed (the secertary was punished though, she was fired after this)
"Jack,was a man who paid no one no mind. He was mean as snake. Only one person attend his wake. To bad he never learned his lesson before it was to late."-sign on a gravestone, in Virgina
"Pickles, $.50, Sandwiches,$1.50, chips,$.25, Ice-cream ,$2.00, Drinks,$1.00, and complaints,free."-sign on the wall in a cafe