Still More Odd Signs Out There

There are still many more odd signs,bumper stickers,shirts,church bulletins, and more out there.
Where?
Look around you,and you will see them all.
" Sing up for the field trip to the zoo." -on a permission slip for a class field trip to the zoo (notice the spelling error, it says "sing up" instead of "sign up") * I just made this up to see how well you are paying attention.
" ATM Inside..."-on a church sign
" No Perfect People Allowed Here, Only Sinners!" - on a church sign
" This Sundays Topic:The Runaway Son vs. The Faithful Son!" - on a church sign
" Want to go to Heaven? To Bad. Only Repentant Sinners Get Too!"-church sign (more serious than some other the other ones)
" The Demons Know Jesus & The Devil Does Too!"- on a billboard for a church (talk about an odd sign)
"Only Satan will Pretend to Be Your Friend!" -church sign
" Polticians Welcome!"-on a life insurance agency door
"Need Car Insurance ? Good Cause We Sell It!" -on a car insurance building's window
"Everyone Welcome! Please No Talking During Sermon!" -undemonational church sign
" Sign Language Available for Those who speak English, or for the deaf." -on a church sign for a church where spanish is spoken (what no intrepretor for those who speak English,you have got to be kidding me?)
"All Children Left In the Store After Hours, Will Be sold!"- sign inside a thirft store
"The Used Parents Store!"-sign inside a thirft store
" Come Early: Get 50% discount!"-sign on a store called the Baragain Box
" Will Work for Anything! -Rev. 11:4" -sign held by someone claiming to be homeless (yet the Bible reference is for a verse that says "Liars Go to hell." talk about knowing the right scripture to use on their sin.)
" Need Help! Call 1-555-... I will tell you your future! Except on Sundays, then I am busy telling someone elses future!" -sign beside a hamburger and hotdog resturant
"We Buy Ugly Houses!"-sign on a billboard
"Sorry,Our Souls Are Not For Sell!"-sign in a discount store
" No putting signs on the street lights,telephone poles,or trees!"-sign on a telephone pole
"Lost tire! Then it lists someones name,and phone number to call if found."- on a tree
" Bobs Heating and Air! We fix all your Heat and Air Problems!"-sign on a truck for a heating and air conditioning company

Still More odd Signs

"Notice: We are not responsible for any damage done to cars, by shopping carts or this stand. We are not responsible for any damage done to your personnel vehicle. Thanks, Management." - Sign posted on the shopping cart return area in the parking lot outside Food Lion
"No trespassing after hours. Anyone caught doing so will be prosecuted." -sign at a gas station
"No weapons beyond this point." -sign beside the security point at the courthouse
"Fire Exit. Push. Alarm will Sound!"-sign on a emergency door at the dollar store
"No parking on Grass. Do Not Block Other Vehicles."-sign in the parking lot at the park
"No parking in front of the entrance." -sign on the door to the mall.
" Don't Pull. Push to open the door."-sign on a door to an antique shop
" Hungry Church: No Perfect People Allowed."-church sign
" Service Times This Week? Same As Last Week!"-church sign
" YOU 'RE WELCOME TO OUR CHURCH! What is Missing? Come on in and you will see!"-church sign
"What is missing? You Are!"-church sign
" Welcome Visitors! Members Expected!"-church sign
" Sermon: Series on Red Hot Monogamy!"-billboard advertising a church series on sex from a biblical prospective
" Come One and All to a Sermon on the First Fall!"-church sign
"What is Satan Like? Come hearing the preaching series by our youth pastor."-church sign (was this is a typo, or was it meant to sound so weird?)

Even More Odd Signs

" Do not stand on unless fully set up."- warning label on a ladder
"Caution:Watch out for small furry creatures." -sign on the side of the road on the way to the zoo parking lot
"No hunting. No weapons of any kind allowed. No knives,No swords,No pistols,rifles, or other guns allowed. No other weapons of any sort inside the zoo. No large coolers, or glass bottles allowed inside the zoo during all times. No unattended pets allowed. No unaccompanied children."-sign at the zoo
"No parking on the sidewalk, grass,road, or anywhere else outside the zoo parking lot at anytime."-sign at the zoo
"Cars parked here after hours will be locked in until next business day."-sign at Lake Higgins
"No parking anytime."-sign, next to spot marked Fire Lane outside the mall
"No unaccompanied children. Unaccompanied children will be sold."-sign inside Ross,a clothing store in the USA (It is against the law to own slaves, or sell people as slaves in the USA, so the second part of the sign makes no sense at all.)
"Advice, $2.00,Extra Advice, $3.00,Bad Advice, Free,Good Advice $5.00"-sign inside a orthodontist office that closed down due to bankruptcy and an dishonest orthodontist
"How's My Driving? "-on the back of a tractortrailor
" No spiting in the sink. No writing on the walls, stalls, floor, door, or ceiling anytime. Make sure to use soap and warm water when you wash your hands. Wash your hands before work,after each visit to the toilet,and before you leave work." -sign in a public bathroom at a store
"Recycle Greensboro."- on a Trash truck (is a good reminder ,but is in an odd spot)
"No cussing. No swear language. No other bad language what so ever."-sign outside a convenience store (says the same thing three different ways)
"No throwing trash into the pond. No feeding the ducks. No swimming. No drowning. No fishing. "-sign in the pond at the park
"No smoking."-sign outside the playground equipment at the park
"Please pick up trash. Do not litter. Those caught littering will pay a fine of $1,000."-sign on a trash can at the park
"Born a Redneck. Raised a Country Gal. Grew up a Country Bumkin. Now I am a City Girl."-bumper sticker on the back of a pick up truck
"Rules...Do... Give your seat to senior citizens,pregnanat women,and those carrying fire arms."-sign in a resturant
" Rules Do not...Rule number 6 Blame your parents for your mistakes. It is your own fault. You might as well admit to it now. Your parents are great,you are the one with a problem."-sign inside a resturant
"Think outside the bun."-phrase on the Taco Bell sign
"No Right Turns. No Left Turns."-on a one way street
"Here Lives a Grumpy Old Bear with His Sweet Wife."-sign near a tree in someone's front yard
"It is Unconstitutional to do that. It is Unconstitutional to tell me that I can not have the Ten Commandments on a wall in a public place, on a public bus, or on the door to my home. It is Constituional to tell me not to inferer with others beliefs as long as they do not infere with my rights to life, liberty,and the pursuite of hapiness."-sign outside a bathroom at a car dealership
"Wipe your feet before you enter. Rinse off too. Do not spread germs. Do not use if you have a cold. No glass bottles, No acohol,No knives, No guns, and no other weapons allowed. No life guard on duty. Enter at your own risk.''-sign at a public swimming pool
"Do not let children play inside dryer. It is a risk to their health. Keep eye on children when in use."-sign on the inside of the door to a dryer
"Women Only. No Men Allowed. No Pets,unless for assisting the blind, or others with a handicap." -sign outside a Women's Changing Area in a store
"Shoes,and Shirt Required. No shoes. No Shirt. No service. It's the law."-sign outside Food Lion,a grocery store
"No graffiti. No stickers. No outside signs. No trasspassing after hours."-sign outside a store that says it makes signs for any purpose
" Reserved Parking for the Boss. Do not Park here,unless 1. The Boss is out sick, 2. The Boss is on vacation,3. You are The Boss,4. You want to get fired, 5. You have No Other Place to Park, 6. The Boss Died, 7. You have Been Promoted to Office of the Boss,8.The Boss is Out to Lunch, 9. You are Running Late,or 10.The Boss Gave you Special Permission to Park Here. Attention:All Others . No parking here any time. No Excuses. "-sign in the parking outside a business office, obviously reserved for the boss, but the sign is a bit repeative, don't you think?
"Most Valued Employee of the Month."-Sign in the parking lot where my husband works, yet no one ever parks here. (what is the purpose of this sign?)
"No parking here anytime. Reserved Parking for the Pastor."-sign in a church parking lot (this does not sound very welcoming to visitors,plus why does the pastor need to reserve himself a parking spot."
" Sue lied. No she's dead. She died from eating to much. She was the size of a pig. Poor Sue."-sign on a gravestone, in a graveyard (talking about disrespect for the dead)
" Here Lies Fred. Died from a Boulder landing on his head. "-sign on another gravestone
" Little Mel. She followed her friend to the end. She fell in a well, and that is all there is to tell."- sign on a gravestone
"What is Hell Like? Come Here the Choir Sing on Sunday. "-actual misprint in a church bulletin , not noticed till people already got the bulletin and laughed (the secertary was punished though, she was fired after this)
"Jack,was a man who paid no one no mind. He was mean as snake. Only one person attend his wake. To bad he never learned his lesson before it was to late."-sign on a gravestone, in Virgina
"Pickles, $.50, Sandwiches,$1.50, chips,$.25, Ice-cream ,$2.00, Drinks,$1.00, and complaints,free."-sign on the wall in a cafe

Cont. Odd Signs Out There

• " No Smoking Beyond This Point."- on the door to the gift shop at the zoo
• " Thank You For Not Smoking." -on the door to the bathrooms at the zoo
• "No Outside Food or Drinks Allowed." -on the soda machine at the zoo
• " This Is A Smoke-Free Restaurant. Do Not Smoke."-on the wall inside Yum Yum's
• " No Parking Any time." -in an Employees Only parking lot outside the police station
• " Buckle Up South Carolina. It is the Law. "-located on a sign in South Carolina of course
• "Welcome to Hicksville." -a sign welcoming people to Hicksville, NC (odd name for a city)
  
• " This is a Cash Only Toll Booth." -on a toll booth in Pennsylvania
• " Do Not Take Checks or Credit at this Lane. This is a Cash Only Lane." -on a pole outside on of the lines in Super Walmart
• " No Smoking. "-sign on a fence outside a field
• " Revelation 11:4 followed by the words Will Work For Food." -on a card board sign held by someone near a busy intercession (the Bible reference does not make sense with the rest of this sign)
• "Will Work For Food. God Bless You! "-on a card board sign held by a person to lazy to find a job
• " No Smoking. Turn Off All Cell Phones. Cell phone use or smoking while at this tank may cause an explosion or even death. "-on a pole supporting the shelter over a gas tank at a BP station
  
• " No Smoking." -on the door to a gas station that sells ciggarettes

More odd signs

Here are some more odd signs out there...

• "Shop lifting is Stealing. Stealing is against the law. All shoplifters will be prosecuted." -inside the Walmart Ladies bathroom (isn't it obvious that shop lifting is stealing?)
  
• "No merchandise allowed inside the Bathroom. Anyone caught with merchandise inside this bathroom will be subject to search, and will be prosecuted. "-inside Ladies bathroom at Kohl's
• " Warning: Use safety belt while in use. Do not leave Baby Unattended. "-on the changing table in Target bathroom
  
• " There will be a $ 0.10 fine per day, for any over due books."- inside the Public Library (don't people no this by now?)
• " This door is locked. Please Use other door."-on the door to the doctor's office
• " Automatic Door. In Case of Emergency Doors may not work. In A Emergency Push Doors Open."- on automated doors outside Food Lion,Target,Walmart,Super K-Mart, Super Walmart, and Baby's R US
• "In Case of Fire Use Stairs to get to the nearest exit."-inside elevators
  
• " Know Where your Exists Are In Case of Emergency."-inside the movie theater
• "Employee's Only. No One Besides Employees Allowed Beyond This Point."-says the same thing twice, located on door to cash register at all restaurants
  
• " There is a Limit of No more than 6 items per customer allowed in changing rooms at a time. Please see the sales clerk for the number of items you have before entering the changing room."-outside changing rooms at Super Walmart, Walmart, Kohl's, Target, JcPenny's, and other stores
• " Buckle Up Virgina. It is Not an Option! It is the Law. Those who fail to wear seat belts will be pulled over and fined for disobeying the law." -located in Virgina
• " No Smoking Allowed Inside the Hospital, on the side walk, or anywhere else other than the posted smoking areas. Please be Curtious and pay attention to these. Anyone caught smoking outside the posted areas will be asked to leave immediately." -outside all hospital entrances
• "No Smoking Allowed Inside the Lavatory." -posted inside the bathrooms on airplanes (Smoking is not allowed on the airplanes anyways.)
• "Thank You For Not Smoking." -posted on the walls inside Mrs. Winneer's a non-smoking restaurant
  
• "Do Not Throw Away Plastic Trays Or Bowls. Thank You, Management."-posted on the wall above the trash cans at Wings To Go
• " This is a Smoke Free Restaurant. Anyone Caught Smoking Will Be Told To Leave." -on the door to Chick-fil-a & inside the Chick-fil-a bathrooms (There are no ash trays inside Chick-fil-a . Isn't this obvious that this is the rule?)
  

There are Some Odd Signs

Here are some odd signs out there ...

• No Man Is Happy Unless He Believes He IS Rev. John Ritter- First Baptist Church, Ambridge, PA

• Death Valley Health Center-Death Valley,CA

• This Sign Is To Help Foreign Tourists From Getting Lost-China (on a sign written in Chinese)

• Take Care! Fall Into Water Carefully-Lijang, China
• Boiled Cake, Fried Pimple-Beljing, China
• Dull above a sign that says Highland Adventure Safaris -Near Aberfeldy,Perthshire
• Bed Breakfast -outside a field with pigs in it and some half moon shaped buildings -Nottinghamshire
• Danger Sheep Drop-sign in Wales
• Brentwood Kelvedon Hatch Industrial Estates A 18 Secert Nuclear Bunker -Essex
• Racism & Outdoor Food Not Allowed -Shimla, India
  
• Baldness with an arrow pointing around the corner-Boquete,Panama
• Soccer Not Allowed. Soccer May Only Be Played In the Archery Ranage.-Grafton,Wisconsin
• If Door Does Not Open Do Not Enter-Neenah, Wisconsin
• Please Don't Hurt the Animals While Teasing Them-Nanjing, China (outside a zoo there)
• Fresh Pet Meat-Chaga Market,Tanzania
• Colton High School Commited to High Standards-Colton, California (left the second t out of the word committed)
• The North-Folk Beer Shire : Beer, Pizza, Wedding,Chapel-Washington State,USA
• Hairgut Barbero-Cairo
• One Way System -with an arrow pointed to the left and another pointed to the right -Doncaster
• ! Drunk Locals -sign on a fence in the Lake District
• Under A.S.S. Protection-security company sign on a fence in Kavieng,New Ireland Providence,Paupa New Guinea
• Attention :For those waiting seats clients,table shall be arranged for you have more than half people already come. We apologize for any inconvenience may cause to you. -New Terroriteries of Hong Kong
• To the Scum Bag Who Stole Our Push Chair Today. We are a Charity. I Hope You Need It One Day Scum.-window of the RSPCA shop in East Ham, London
• Emergency Telephone Call 999 For Coast Guard, Police,Fire, or Ambulance-outside a public telephone
• Quiet Woman Way-street sign in Nelson, New Zealand
• Notice Mediums Are Forbidden To Fall Into A Terance In the Snake Temple Or Its Preceint Causing Inconvencience To Worshippers And Vistors By Order of the Board -Snake Temple In Penang, Malyasia
• Sorry We Have No Mints Please Take A Condom Instead -Thai Resturant (ugh! Can we say,excuse me? Talk about strange,and rude here!)
• Constructions Work Is Taking Place In This Area Please, Excuse For the Molest-Havana, Cuba
• Please Help Us Save Water. Press Flush Button Twice.-Istanbul airport bathroom
  
• Super Set Of False Teeth (Cause of Death) Super Offerta-Nafpilo,Greece
• Do Not Acess Bus Through Window-Magnetic Island, Australia
• L. Justin Payne,DMD Dentistry -Braselton, Georgia
• Hicksville Baptist Church-church sign in Hicksville, North Carolina
• Cash Baptist Church-on a sign in Society Hill, South Carolina (odd name for a church,makes it sounds like they do not accept checks here)
• Rino Crossing,Elephant Crossing, and Camel Crossing signs with the words "Slow Down Deer Crossing" below them in North Vancover, BC. Canada
  
• Hammer Massage-Siem Reap, Cambodia
• Building Asks a Smoked Vistor in the Outside Smoking Section That You Can Not Smoke IN-Hakone National Park, Japan
• Smart Noshiery Makes You Slobber-Pudong,Shaghai
• Antique Tables Made Daily 1-800-413-2459 -Virgina, USA
• Please Don't Cross Any Railings Lest Suddeness Happens! -Beijing, Zoo
• Any Persons (Exepect Players) Caught Collecting Golf Balls On This Course Will Be Prosecuted And Have Their Balls Removed-Canada -how odd is this
• Caution:Slow Moving Plant-Cobh,Co.Cork, Ireland
• Unique Traffic Pattern Ahead-Bowen Island, off Vancover
• Slow Children Ahead -Kingston,Ontario
• Red Squirrels Drive Slowly-Bassenthwaite Lake
• Please do not standing or spanning seats during bus is running: sitting in stable and spreading your arm or body outside of the window; going or taking off the bus after the bus is stopped.-Wuxi, China (on a tourist bus)
• Check your Depth Before Entering-Opiki, New Zealand
• Hill Blocks View-Richfield,Wisconsin (sign near a hill)
• This Enclosure Sponsered By Free the Bears Fund Inc -Laos
• Golgotha Fun Park-Near Mammoth Cave, Kentucky
• Upper Death Access-Box Death Hollow Wilderness Area, Utah
• No Sociltors Permitted Beyond This Point
• If you are a prostitute please refrain from entering our garden or resturant. If you are unsure whether or not you are a prostitute,please ask one of our friendly security guards to sort it out for you.-China (outside a resturant)
• No open tin cans,No parking bikes on cars,No disco dancing, No fishing,No swimming, and No stick waving-Welland Canal in Port Colborne